The Late Letter
by Kegcider
Summary: A letter arrives for Joyce. Set after The Body.
1. The Late Letter

The Late Letter

Title: The Late Letter

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. They belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, etc.

Author: Kegcider [gkegroup@ntlworld.com][1] (Feedback please, please, beg, grovel)

Summary: A letter arrives for Joyce. Set after The Body.

Archives: Anyone that wants it. Just let me know

Buffy closed the door softly, then leant back on it heavily with a sigh. She'd thought being the Slayer was bad enough. Being a Slayer and for all intents a mother was a hundred times worse. Today it had been Dawn's principal, thank God that Snyder had gone; three vampires, another close brush with Glory and a meeting with the lawyers about the trust fund.

"Vampires, highlight of the day." Buffy mused. _Things have really gotten that bad_?

Sighing again, Buffy pushed herself away from the door and walked over to the pile of mail on the sideboard. She'd been in too much of a rush this morning to even consider looking at them, but they had to be dealt with. They'd probably be bills.

Moving to the couch, Buffy sat down heavily and began to sort through the letters.

Junk mail, junk mail, junk mail, letter, junk mail, electricity bill, junk mail, letter.

Buffy took the electicity bill and put it on the side for paying tomorrow. Then she sat back on the couch and examined the letters.

Aunt Gemma and Uncle Frasier, nice to hear from them for the first time in at least twelve years Buffy thought a little bitterly as she put that letter aside.

When Buffy opened the other letter, she caught her breath. She was tempted to screw it up and throw it away, but she found herself unable to stop reading.

_Hi Mrs Summers,_

_I hope you don't mind me writing this, but I just wanted to say sorry. I know that probably doesn't mean much, but I just had to say it, you know. I don't know how much Buffy told you about all the shit I pulled, if she hasn't said much yet, I'll leave most of it up to her, but the important bit is that I swapped bodies with her that night. When the police took me away, they didn't. They took Buffy. I was still with you._

_The conversation we had that night, well, it means a lot to me that you tried to defend me, that you'd even try to understand me. When you said that you thought I was unhappy it started to make me think. I hadn't thought about being unhappy, or happy or anything really in so long. Pretty much all I'd been feeling for weeks, not counting the coma, was angry._

_Since I've been in here, I've been seeing the counsellor every week. I can't tell him much about things because if I told him the truth he'd think I was even more crazy than I am, but it's helped some anyway. I've now worked out a bit better why. You probably know that I did everything I could to make Buffy's life total hell, everything I did was fixed on her. There were two reasons for that. I was jealous of her for a start, she had everything I'd never had. Friends that gave a damn. A life outside slaying, she had school, parties, even a boyfriend. And then she had you. My Mom never gave a damn about me, except for how much she could get out of my deadbeat loser dad in alimony. She always told me how much she'd given up for me and how much it'd had ruined her life. I was out saving the world, and every time I got home, she'd just let me know how useless I was._

_When I met you, and saw how you cared about Buffy, and how you dealt with the Slayer stuff, I could hardly believe it. I never thought a Mom could be so good._

_I wanted everything Buffy had, and for a while I about had it. When I was patrolling with her, and hanging with the gang, it felt like I actually belonged for a while. Spending Christmas with you and Dawn was pretty much a high point of my life and the first time I ever had a real family, even if I was only borrowing one._

_Buffy was the best friend I'd ever had as well. It all went to shit when it happened. Buffy probably told you, but I'll tell you anyway. We were fighting off a gang of vampires, it was a fairly tough fight and I was really getting into the swing of things when the Deputy Mayor comes straight in. I thought he was a vampire, I really did, but when I staked him there was no dust, just blood. Me and Buffy both freaked and ran away._

_All night I thought about him being there. I just wanted the whole thing to have not happened, so I could get on with saving the world, but part of me knew it wouldn't. I'd never been so scared before. Then when I next saw Buffy all she could do was tell me how much trouble I was in, how much I'd screwed up. I'd hidden the body because I wanted the problem to just go away. So did Buffy but she thought the problem was me. I know now that Buffy was just as scared as I was, but at the time I couldn't believe how much she'd betrayed me. I thought we were partners, but all she wanted was to get away from me. I'd never really felt that lonely before. Back when I was with my Mom, I hadn't had anything to compare it with, but after being with the gang here, it... well it really sucked._

_ Because I by myself again, I figured I'd see what the Mayor was offering. Slaying doesn't pay, and I needed some money to get away and I thought I'd be able to get something out of the Mayor before too long. Came as a hell of a surprise when it turned out that I liked him, and that he liked me. It was an even bigger surprise when he started to treat me like family. It got so that I'd do pretty much anything he asked because I didn't want to let him down you know, he was counting on me. I'd let enough people down before. Did you know that I let my Watcher get killed? I wasn't fast enough getting back from a patrol and she was already dead. I swore I'd never let anyone down that cared about me again. Buffy and the rest of you didn't care, but the Mayor did so I had to do my best for him._

_But I let him down in the end. He'd arranged it so that I'd have to fight Buffy, but I couldn't beat her. I think deep down, I didn't really want to. He died because I wasn't good enough, wasn't strong enough. I found that out just after I woke up. I also found out that Buffy had moved on from Angel onto some damn farmboy. She tried to kill me for him, and he doesn't even matter anymore._

_I was so angry back then. I think I was even angry enough that I might have really hurt you. When I look back, that's one of the things that scares me the most. The things I did make me feel sick, and I'll always regret them, but the thing that really causes the nightmares is that I hadn't finished. I might have done anything._

_While I was in Buffy's body, I went to the Bronze with Willow and her friend Tara. I was pretending to be Buffy so when Willow saw a vampire I went out and slayed it like old times. I'd missed being a hero, I hadn't even realised it. The next day I was all set to run away, I was at the airport and everything, but when it came on the TV about the vampires in the church I figured I'd have one last go at being a Slayer before I gave it up entirely._

_Buffy was at the church as well, so we fight again and she wins again and gets her body back, so I leave as fast as I can run. I get to LA and meet Angel and pretty much all Hell breaks loose. By the time I'm finished, I've hurt someone else. Really badly and I don't really know why. It was personal, he'd tried to send me to England for execution, but that wasn't the real reason. I didn't have any real reason, it just all went shit._

_Angel tried to help though. I was feeling pretty suicidal then, there just didn't seem to be any point in anything anymore. Angel convinced me that it was worth keeping going, and that I would be able to feel better about things eventually, maybe even make things right._

_Just after that we were both attacked by a demon. We killed it but I was so shocked by it being there. Angel held me while I shook and then Buffy turned up. She thought I was after Angel, I'd probably have figured the same thing. It blew up and it ended up with them hitting each other. I wasn't even doing anything, just being there and I was hurting them again._

_The Watchers turned up with machine guns to try and kill me, but Buffy helped keep me safe. She went up against them for me, not ten minutes after she'd threatened to kill me, she's saving my life again. I didn't really know what to do, but Buffy had told Angel that I had to go to jail, so I decided to give her idea a shot._

_I think she was right. In here I've had a chance to think and sort things out, without really worrying about anything. Sure the guards can be a bit rough, and some of the others in here make me look sane, but it's nothing I can't handle. But I don't have to worry about money, food, the motel bill or slaying or anything. It's the first time in so long that I've not been scared. I'm scared about getting out, but that's not for a while yet._

_Anyway, I just wanted to say sorry and to thank you for trying to help me, and for not giving up on me, it means so much. I know you're scared for Buffy with all her Slayer stuff, but you don't have to be scared of me anymore, I swear I'll never try and hurt her again. I wish I was able to tell her this, but I used up all my chances with her a long time ago._

_Goodbye, i__t was really great knowing you. I wish I could have been around longer._

_Faith_

Buffy put the letter down on the coffee table slowly. She'd always thought her mom was special, but she didn't realise how much other people thought she was too. Even Faith. Buffy had avoided thinking about Faith for a long while. But now she couldn't hold off any longer.

She knew that her Mom had never given up on Faith, despite everything that had happened. Buffy also knew that her Mom would want Faith to be alright, and that she'd want Buffy to help her be alright - although she'd never have asked. Faith had been in prison for over a year and in all that time there had been no contact between the Chosen Two. 

Buffy frowned as she remembered the night Faith had given herself up, the night when Faith had tried to apologise. Faith was ready to try to make things right so of course Buffy had found it necessary to add a little death threat to the conversation, and she knew in her heart that she'd meant it. She shuddered a little as she thought of what would have happened if Angel hadn't been there.

Flashing back to the night she'd first fought with Faith and meant it, she remembered what she'd told her. "_I realize this is gonna sound funny coming from someone that just spent a lot of time kicking your face... but you can trust me... I'm on your side._" They'd been fighting for so long since then, but for most of the time Buffy had wanted to bring Faith back on side, waiting for a chance to get through to her, but when the chance finally came, she'd just given in to the anger.

Buffy got up and made her way to her bedroom. Tomorrow, she decided. Tomorrow she would go see Faith, apologise for the death threat, see if Faith had anything to say and see if they could finally begin to move beyond their past.

The end for now...

   [1]: mailto:gkegroup@ntlworld.com



	2. Inevitable

Inevitable

Title: Inevitable

Rating: R - Language

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters in this story. They belong to Mutant Enemy, Fox, etc.

Author: Kegcider [gkegroup@ntlworld.com][1]

Summary: Buffy's been putting it off for a long time, but she finally goes to see Faith. Follows on from The Late Letter, spoilers up to The Body.

Archives: Anyone that wants it. Just let me know

"What the fuck are you doing here B?"

'_Things never change_', Buffy thought to herself. "I wanted to see how prison life was suiting you."

"Oh it's great," Faith answered sarcastically. "Three squares a day, a quick beating from a guard, dodge Big Bertha in the showers. It's everything I could ever want."

"Regret the choice?"

"What choice? I seem to remember machine guns and helicopters and then what do you know, another psychotic bitch out for a killing."

Buffy's eyes immediately went hard. "I'm not a psychotic bitch."

"Sure looked it from where I was stood."

"What did you expect? You can't go around stealing peoples lives, murdering people, trying to feed an entire town to a demon and generally trying to make everyone's life Hell without it catching up with you."

"Why not? It hasn't caught up with you. What's that word the lawyer used again? Oh yeah. Accessory."

"You can't play that with me. I haven't murdered anyone."

"You were there when it happened. And let's not forget when you went for it for yourself. You certainly tried hard enough to murder someone, guess you're just a failure."

"You're the one in prison."

Faith looked around the room on her side of the glass before tapping the glass with her finger. "You can't get me in here B. You're out there any you'll always know that I hurt you, your friends and your family and you can't do anything about it because I'm in here. You've really got to love justice haven't you."

"Fuck you Faith. You're not going to be in here forever."

"Long enough. I'm going to be safe in here, while you're out there getting your butt kicked by the next demon that wants to bag a Slayer. By the time I get out of here I don't think I'll have to worry about you."

"I've had enough. YOU DESERVE TO ROT IN HERE!"

Faith smirked back. "Cool isn't it?"

Buffy slammed the handset down and stormed out of the visiting room.

----------------

"What the Hell just happened?" Buffy asked herself out loud as stood outside the prison. She'd gone there determined to apologise for her behaviour last time she was in LA and to try and work out some sort of cease fire, but all the old anger had risen up straight away and Faith had just been, well, Faith.

-----------------

Faith sat down on her cot heavily. With a sigh she slumped forwards and held her head in her hands. It had been so long since she'd seen Buffy. She'd spent so many days thinking about what she would say, how she would act when the time came again, but all that had happened had been an immediate slip back into the old patterns. All those months in jail had achieved absolutely nothing.

"Fuck!" she swore to herself loudly.

-----------------

Buffy turned and looked back at the prison. If she left now, she knew it would probably be another year or more before she'd force herself to visit Faith again. She couldn't leave things as they were for that long. Taking a deep breath she turned back towards the gates.

-----------------

"Wilkins! Visitor!" the guard bellowed jarring Faith from her recriminations. She looked around in surprise, wondering who it could be. The most likely person was Buffy, but she wouldn't have come back, would she?

------------------

"B", Faith said cautiously. She was determined not to start the arguments this time. 

"Please Faith, just listen for a couple of minutes. This is important."

Faith nodded silently.

"Mom didn't get your letter, she's dead. She died almost two weeks ago. She always liked you, and when that letter arrived. Well I figured you should know."

"Jesus B, I'm sorry..." Faith said before she caught herself, "er... I mean.... I didn't mean..."

Buffy shook her head. "It's alright. That's another thing, Mom didn't say anything to me, but I know she wanted us to try and make things right. She thought that you could be a good guy again, that you just got lost on the way. I'm not sure about that. But I do know that I was out of line at Angel's. I know the time's past, but if you want to apologise, I won't hurt you."

"Would it really make any difference?"

"I just want the fighting to stop, you know?"

"I stopped fighting over a year ago," Faith said softly.

Buffy didn't answer and the silence stretched between them for a couple of minutes.

Eventually Faith spoke. "Your Mom, did she suffer?"

"No. The doctor said it would be painless."

"Doctor? It wasn't vampires?"

"No. Operation for a brain tumor when wrong. We thought everything was okay for a few days after the operation, but a blood vessel burst."

"Jesus."

"I found her, she was just laying on the couch."

"Are you alright?" Faith was surprised the question came out, but not nearly as surprised as Buffy when she heard the sincerity in Faith's voice.

"No. But I'm getting there."

"How's Dawn?"

"It's hit her really hard, but I think she'll be okay."

"She's a tough kid."

"Yeah she is."

Silence settled over the conversation again.

This time it was Buffy that spoke up. "I supposed I'd better be going."

"Right," Faith nodded. "Look B, I'm... er... thank you for coming back again. I didn't mean to say those things... it's just..."

"I know. We just fell into old routine again. I didn't mean to say what I said either."

"Didn't mean it, or didn't mean to say it?" Faith asked. Before Buffy could say anything, she carried on. "It's okay. I know it'll take a long time, but I just want things to be better."

"So do I."

"Will you come back?"

"Yes, but probably not for a while. I've been busy since Mom died, and there's another end of the world thing coming."

"B," Faith looked away for a moment nervously. "If you need any help, I can..."

"No Faith. Don't break out of prison, it would sort of ruin things."

"I didn't mean that. The Mayor sorted things. I can be out by the end of the week, all legal."

Buffy's mouth dropped open in shock as she stared at Faith.

"You could have got out anytime?"

Faith nodded.

"Why didn't you?"

"It would have made things worse, wouldn't it? I've been able to get a lot of thinking done this year, without worrying about things."

"Me," Buffy stated plainly.

Faith nodded. "And others."

Buffy sat back in her chair, a thoughtful expression on her face. Faith just watched her, waiting for a reaction.

"This changes things," Buffy finally said.

Faith nodded again, but didn't say anything.

"I can't... I mean... I'll have to think about this."

"There's no rush, B. I'm used to it in here now. I know having me around might make things worse, not better. But if you do want an extra pair of hands, just tell me."

"I will, I'll send a letter in a few days. You can write to me you know."

"Will do."

"TWO MINUTES," came the guard's voice over the loudspeaker.

"I've got to go," Buffy annouced.

"Look after yourself."

"You too Faith. Bye."

"Bye Buffy."

--------------

As she drove back to Sunnydale, Buffy found herself in a surprisingly optimistic mood. She wasn't totally sure about Faith, but it was beginning to look like Faith was genuinely trying. It would be hard though, their first meeting showed that, but it was a hopeful sign and Buffy had seen few enough of those recently.

---------------

As soon as Faith got back to her cell, she grabbed a sheet of paper, and a pen. She'd thought about writing before, but she'd been worried about Buffy's reaction. Now it was worth the risk. There was so much she wanted to say, things that she'd never have the guts to say face to face, things that had been put off long enough.

   [1]: mailto:gkegroup@ntlworld.com



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